


Talking about Tony

by Lokomotiv



Series: Tony & Tony Series [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, NCIS, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-22 07:03:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8277005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokomotiv/pseuds/Lokomotiv
Summary: Three conversations, all about Tony. Well, two different Tonys, but still.





	1. Gibbs and Tony (Stark) talk about Tony (DiNozzo)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gibbs and Tony (Stark) talk about Tony (DiNozzo).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue-only.

“Yeah, Gibbs."

“Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. I have a question for you."

“Who is this?"

“Do you abuse all of your subordinates equally, or do you have some sort of ranking system?"

“Who are you?"

“My guess is that some get it worse than others, am I right?"

“It’s customary to introduce oneself when initiating a call, I’ve been told, if you don’t already know each other. Do we know each other?"

“Funny. No. We’ve never met."

“Then why are we talking?"

“We have someone in common."

“The guessing game is getting old-”

“Anthony DiNozzo."

“Ah."

“Ah?"

“Stalker. _That_ kind of stalker."

“M-hm, except, not actually a stalker. Why would you assume that?"

“It happens sometimes. You’ve seen us interact somewhere, and decided he needs saving from the big bad boss who doesn’t appreciate him. You’ve never even actually talked to him, except maybe in passing, but you’ve created a fantasy in which you will be the one to save him, and then he’ll notice you."

“That’s… actually as far away from spot on that one can get while still keeping to the subject at hand. Impressive.”

“You’re saying you know him? And more importantly, that he knows you?"

“I should hope so, I’m his boyfriend."

“DiNozzo doesn’t have a boyfriend."

“No? How would you know?"

“He would have..."

“Told you? If he had attempted to, what would you have done?"

...

“And we’re back to the reason I’m calling you, Agent Gibbs."

“Okay, assuming for the moment that you are telling the truth, are you seriously saying DiNozzo can’t take a smack to the head or two?"

“Oh, he can take it. That doesn’t make it okay for you to dole it out."

“He’s never complained."

“He wouldn’t. And he shouldn’t have to. Tell me, did you hit your daughter too?"

“What the-"

“Okay, that was mean, it’s just I need to make a point here. Why is it okay to hit Special Agent DiNozzo, when hitting your child would be unthinkable?"

“DiNozzo is not a child."

“No. He _is_ however dependent on your good opinion for his livelihood and career. Not that I don’t think his talent is wasted at NCIS, but he seems to like working there. But his continued employment may actually be contingent on his willingness to let you hit him, does that _really_ sound okay to you?"

“I wouldn’t fire him for-"

“Does he _know_ that?"

...

“Do any of them know that? And what _would_ you do?"

“What do you mean?"

“What would you do if one of your agents told you he or she didn’t appreciate the physical abuse you bestow upon them?"

“It’s not-"

“It _is_ , because they _can’t make you stop without risking something_. Do you get that? I don’t understand why that is so hard to grasp. If you’re honest, what would you do to the hypothetical agent who complained?”

“Nothing."

“Bullshit. You would smack them twice as often, thrice as hard, until they stopped complaining."

…

"Do you see the problem here?"

…

“Only, if they’re anything like Tony,  they _wouldn’t_ complain, because you’ve made sure they think they deserve it, or that it’s no big deal, and besides, it hardly even hurts. And they were the ones who screwed up, anyway. Do you know who talks like that? Abusers, and victims of abuse. Guess which category you belong to?"

“I don’t-"

"Do you know that Tony thinks he screws up worse than your junior agents, because you hit him more often? Why do you, do you think? I think it’s because you know he’d never complain. Overdo it with one of the others, they might start to grumble, but never Tony. Too loyal for his own good.”

…

"Did you know that sometimes he deliberately provokes you into hitting him, because he knows you’re going to hit _someone_ , and he wants to spare Kate and McGee the humiliation of a public smack-down?"

…

“Well, _did_ you know that?"

“No. I didn’t know that."

…

“So, you’re really his boyfriend, huh?"

“Yeah. Ask McGee and Kate, they know about me. Sort of."

“Sort of?"

“Not relevant. Are you going to stop hitting your subordinates?"

“Are you going to tell me your name?"

“No. It’s not relevant."

“I think it is."

“I don’t. And don’t bother trying to track the call, you won’t find me that way. Are you going to stop-"

“I will… think about what we have discussed."

“All right. Then I think we’re done here."

“So how _do_ I find you, if I want to discuss it some more?"

“You don’t."


	2. Gibbs, McGee and Kate talk about both Tonys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gibbs, McGee and Kate talk about both Tonys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gibbs POV

Gibbs reached out and flipped the emergency switch. Both Kate and McGee looked a bit startled, but he easily ignored that.

“What,” he started, “do we know about Tony’s boyfriend?"

Their reactions to those words he studied carefully. McGee was uncomfortable and confused, but not surprised. He’d actually known about the boyfriend, then, or at least suspected. Kate gave a short bark of a laugh and shook her head. Interesting.

“That’s funny, boss. Tony doesn’t have a boyfriend, he's not gay."

“Actually, he does have a boyfriend,” McGee interrupted. “Why are we talking about this? And why are we in the elevator?"

“No he does not! Come on, you’re kidding, right? He’s dated like the half of DC’s female population. He’s definitely not gay!"

“That means that he’s bisexual, Kate. He has a boyfriend."

“But he-"

“What do we know about the boyfriend?” Gibbs interrupted their argument. McGee turned to him while Kate seemed to get lost in thought. Gibbs ignored her for the moment, she wouldn’t have any useful information about the boyfriend anyway, not until she acknowledged that he existed.

“Boss, I don’t feel comfortable discussing this without Tony being here."

Gibbs studied McGee. That was annoying, but... actually kind of admirable too. Unfortunately he couldn’t allow that kind of honourable behaviour at this time.

“Talk, McGee."

“I- Could you at least tell me why? What are you going to do with- You are not going to fire him, are you? It’s illegal to discriminate based on sexual orientation-"

“Not going to fire him. Not going to spread it around the office. I just need to know what there is to know."

When McGee still hesitated, Gibbs relented and decided to throw him a bone as a reward for his loyalty to his teammate.

“The boyfriend called me."

“Oh. What did he-"

“Apparently he is not impressed with my leadership skills."

“Did he threaten you?” Kate asked, alerted by his wry tone.

The two men turned to her.

“No."

“But he 'wasn’t impressed'?"

“No. And he didn’t give me his name, although he made it very clear that he knew mine."

“Did he call your work line or your personal phone?"

“My personal cell."

“Caller ID?"

“Blocked. He also hinted at the call being untraceable."

“Hm."

“What?” McGee asked. “What are you thinking?"

“It’s- Even if he wasn’t overtly threatening…"

“Yeah,” Gibbs confirmed.

“What?” McGee asked again.

“Power play,” Kate explained. “By withholding all information about himself while showing that he knows Gibbs, can reach him on his personal cell and so on, he’s trying to demonstrate that he’s the one with all the power. It’s not exactly a threat, but it’s not exactly not, either, most of the time."

“And that, Agent McGee, is why I need to know what you know about the boyfriend."

“Do you think Tony might be in danger, boss?"

“I don’t know. I would prefer to know that he’s not."

“Yes. I understand. Agreed."

“So?"

“Okay, I don’t know a lot. Let me think… The guy can hack into phones. He sent a text message from Kate’s cell without ever touching it, and he knew I was holding Tony’s phone, probably by hacking the camera."

“He’s vindictive,” Kate added. “He sent that text in retaliation for..."

Kate trailed off. Gibbs wanted to slap her on the back of the head, but refrained. For the moment.

“In retaliation for _what_ , Kate?” he asked instead, and if that head-slap sort of came out in his voice instead, that was just the way things had to be for now. Kate jumped a little, and blushed faintly as she continued.

“Well, boss, I… I sent a text to him from Tony’s phone. A not so nice text, about how she - I thought he was a she, still - should dump Tony because he’s a lost cause."

Gibbs raised his eyebrows. 'Not so nice' seemed like a bit of an understatement, there.

“And?” he prompted.

“And he hacked into my phone and made it send a similar text to the guy I was dating."

“Has he threatened you in any way since? Any contact at all?"

“No. No, nothing."

“Hacker. Protective of his boyfriend. More?"

“Um, he’s not called Leo,” McGee supplied.

“Okay. What is he called?"

“I don’t know."

“But you know he’s not called Leo?"

“Yeah, and I don’t think he works in law enforcement."

“You know one name he’s not called, and one profession he does not have."

“Yes, boss."

“Well, that’s useful."

“Sorry, boss."

“So, we know next to nothing."

Kate and McGee first looked at each other, then at Gibbs.

“It seems so, boss,” McGee agreed.

“I can’t believe I didn’t know he’s been dating guys."

“I don’t think he’s technically _dated_ many guys-"

Gibbs reached out and flipped back the emergency switch, and both junior agents jumped as the lights came on and the elevator started moving. There was a brief silence.

“So what are you going to do?” Kate asked just as the doors opened.

“Talk to Tony."


	3. Gibbs and Tony (DiNozzo) talk about Tony (Stark)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gibbs and Tony (DiNozzo) talk about Tony (Stark).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue-only.

“So. Your boyfriend."

“How do you know about him? Wait, stupid question. Kate and McGee, obviously. The real question is, why are you asking me about him? You make a point not to know about our personal lives."

“Did you check him out?"

“Oh _-ho_ yes, yes I did. I do. Repeatedly. As often as I can manage."

...

...

“DiNozzo!"

“Sorry, boss. You were saying?"

“Did you do a background check on him once you’d started dating?"

“No. He did one on me though."

“Enough with the innuendo, this is serious."

“That wasn’t innuendo, and I am serious. You still haven’t told me what this is all about. Why are you so interested all of a sudden? And how do you even get innuendo from-"

“He called me."

“Who called you? Wait, you mean-"

“Your boyfriend. He called me, on my personal cell, from an untraceable number, to tell me I'm not allowed to ‘hit’ you anymore."

“Ooh. Oh dear."

“I’m going to need his name. I’ll run it through-"

“No, wait, you don’t have to do that. This is all my fault."

...

...

“Do you realize how much like a victim of abuse you sounded just now? Does he beat you?"

“What, _no_! Oh shit, I should have just- Look, I’m sorry. I’ll talk to him."

“You’ll give me his name."

“No, you see, it’s like this. I had a bad headache and maybe, just possibly, complained a little - only a _little_! - about the head-slapping one day. It was only because I had a _really_ bad headache. And then he got all upset about it, going on about abuse of power, and workplace bullying, and he made me promise to talk to you about it, but I didn’t. So you see?"

“See what, exactly?"

“I should never have complained about it to begin with."

“You are aware that none of this makes you sound less like an abuse victim?"

“He _doesn’t beat me_."

“I believe you."

“He’s never- wait, what? You do?"

“He may have made some good points during our conversation. But I’m still going to need his name."

“There’s no way I’m getting out of here until I tell you, is there?"

“Correct."

“Fine. But you probably won’t need to run a background check, you can just google him. He’s a pretty big name in certain circles - apparently ’the _only_ name in clean energy these days’, I’ve been told."

“Your boyfriend is _Tony Stark_?"

“What, _him_ you’ve heard of? Seriously, you don’t know Martin Freeman from Adam, but-"

“There was an alien invasion, changing the world as we know it, and Tony Stark was involved in that. Admittedly he was one of the good guys that time, but he’s also been flagged as a potential threat to national security. He also owns the most advanced aerial weapons system in existence and resides in New York City. As a member of the human race in general, and a law enforcement officer on the east coast in particular, how do you expect me _not_ to know about him?"

“Well, when you put it that way..."

“How else would you put it?"

“All right, fine. Are you still going to run the background check?"

“Yep."

“Figures.”

...

"What?"

“How did you two meet?"

“How is that relevant?"

“You didn’t recognize him, did you?"

“I did! Or maybe I might have not actually recognized him completely. At first sight. It was dark!"

“I thought you knew all the famous people by sight?"

“Actors, actresses, directors. _Important_ celebrities, not _business people_."

“I see. How does he feel about not being an _important_ celebrity?"

“He's actually-"

“DiNozzo!"

“Yes, boss?"

“Do you think I care?"

“No, boss. Sorry, boss."

“Very good."

 


End file.
